Tuesday, February 07, 2006
...to see ourselves as others see us
It’s funny when you’re having a conversation and the other person starts to criticise someone else, and in listing all their character defects, manages to pretty much describe themselves.
At a family gathering recently, a woman, who can in the course of recounting the minutiae of hers, her family’s and acquaintance’s lives, make you lose the will to live, told me about a former long time friend of hers, who had mysteriously stopped talking to her. When I asked if she missed this friendship, she told me she didn’t really because she was very snobbish, talked only about her own family and constantly bragged about their achievements.
Oh for the cool headed, quick thinking talent of Jane Austin to deliver the deliciously ironic ripostes that Elizabeth Bennett uses on the insufferable rector Mr Collins in Pride & Prejudice. Sadly, all my killer blows were struck much later in the comfort of my sitting room.
But the next time I’m tempted to criticise someone, I must remember that I too could simply be transferring my own unattractive characteristics on to my target.
At a family gathering recently, a woman, who can in the course of recounting the minutiae of hers, her family’s and acquaintance’s lives, make you lose the will to live, told me about a former long time friend of hers, who had mysteriously stopped talking to her. When I asked if she missed this friendship, she told me she didn’t really because she was very snobbish, talked only about her own family and constantly bragged about their achievements.
Oh for the cool headed, quick thinking talent of Jane Austin to deliver the deliciously ironic ripostes that Elizabeth Bennett uses on the insufferable rector Mr Collins in Pride & Prejudice. Sadly, all my killer blows were struck much later in the comfort of my sitting room.
But the next time I’m tempted to criticise someone, I must remember that I too could simply be transferring my own unattractive characteristics on to my target.
