Monday, March 19, 2007


Blogging Blues

I’ve been feeling so blue recently that I’ve been unable to keep up my blog. No matter how far down the well I lower the bucket, it comes back empty – not a single thought to quench my parched brain. So my loved one’s shut me in the office and says I’m not allowed out until I’ve written something – anything, so I’m sorry this is only a blog about not being able to write one. For some reason a silly kids’ rhyme is going round in my head, which somehow seems symbolic.

Caw, caw said the rook, high up in the tree
See my fine nest, don’t you envy me?
But the little brown rabbit said who wants a nest?
Why everyone knows that burrows are best.

I think I’ve turned into the little brown rabbit, but burrows aren’t best. Yes, it’s cosy, warm and safe down there, but you get a dark and narrow view of the world. Whereas up in the trees you’ve got perspective, you can see the whole landscape before you, feel the warmth of the sun, with space to spread your wings. I’m quitting this burrow just as soon as I can.

I suppose everyone has their own way of looking for reassurance in moments of insecurity and when mine is about lacking talent or not being very knowledgeable, one of the fun ways I sometimes use is to compose a quiz in my head as I’m going about my tasks, including of course all those obscure facts just gleaned from who knows where and guess what? Yep, I get all the answers right – I’m not so dumb. But it didn’t work this time. No, up pops the uninvited question what’s the capital of Chad?

We’re walking along the road and see this middle-aged man, well dressed, sitting on the steps of a building crying so hard that it looked as though he were holding his chest just to stop his heart falling out. It nearly broke mine.

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